


Dear God

by PetrichorPerfume



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bible Quotes, Biblical References, Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, Gen, Having Faith, Loss of Faith, Prayer, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 06:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2300126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Sam prays, he's six years old and he thinks that God is a superhero.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear God

 

_And I tell you, ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be open unto you. Luke 11:9_

 

 

The first time Sam prays, he’s six years old. Dean is out getting food and he’s bored because life on the road doesn’t exactly leave room for toys and coloring books for little boys, and it’s too cold outside to play because it’s November in North Dakota and it’s starting to snow.

 

He’s going to go crazy if he doesn’t do something, though, so he starts rummaging through the motel drawers in the hopes that the previous family had left something behind. He finds a Bible in the second drawer he opens, and even though it’s a lot longer than the books he’s used to reading from school, he decides to give it a try.

 

He’s only in second grade, so most of the words are new and strange and confusing. He doesn’t understand much, but one thing is clear – God is a superhero, just like his daddy.

 

“Dear God,” he whispers to the empty room. “I know you can hear me, because you’re everywhere, so listen up. I want you to protect my dad, and my big brother Dean. Dad is a superhero, just like you, and Dean is gonna be a hero when he grows up. So you look after them, okay? Thanks, God.”

 

***

 

_If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you. John 15:7_

 

 

The second time Sam prays, he’s fifteen and _bitter._ He hasn’t believed in God since the day Dean told him that monsters were real, but right now, he’s desperate because Dean is dying and it’s _his fault_ – it was only his first hunt, and he’d stumbled and that split second is going to cost Dean his life, and he can’t let that happen – so he closes his eyes and prays. “Please, God,” he whispers. “ _Please_.”

 

Dean stops breathing, and Sam does too, because Dean _can’t_ die, not now, not here, not like this. Then Dean takes in a mighty, heaving breath and Sam starts to weep.

 

_Thank you, God._

 

***

 

_Call to me and I will answer you. Jeremiah 33:3_

 

 

Sam prays every day after that, praising God, thanking Him, begging Him to keep his family safe. He prays to Michael, and to Gabriel, and to every angel he thinks will listen. Oftentimes, he prays to Castiel, the angel of tears and solitude. He ends every prayer to God with “I love you, God,” and every prayer to His angels with “Praise the Lord.”

 

***

 

_After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. Matthew 6:9-13_

 

Sam misses his first prayer in ten years on the day he meets the angels. He tells himself that he’ll pray tomorrow, but he never does.

 

***

 

_When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. Psalm 34:17_

 

The last time Sam prays, he’s falling into the Abyss, Lucifer coiling serpent-like under his skin. He sees Michael running towards him and his heart breaks and some of it is sympathy for Adam, but the greater part of it is Lucifer’s emotions bleeding through and becoming one with his own.

 

The last time Sam prays, he’s praying for all four of them.

 

_Dear God... Why?_


End file.
